Thursday, December 16, 2004

Sheepish Santa

I feel really bad. I was horrible to my husband yesterday.

You see, I have a bit of a reputation in our household for being a "peeker". I have a hard time with the temptation of wrapped packages that bear my name. When I was younger, I actually had instances of finding wrapped presents, unwrapping them to take a look, then re-wrapping them. I'm pretty bad. Now that I'm older though, I'm a little better at curbing the peeking urge, but only a little. But, I digress...
Anyway, yesterday I was wrapping presents to put under the tree while Peanut "helped". We were listening to Christmas carols, dancing around, when I hear a faint rip. Peanut had knocked some presents and torn the paper on one of mine. I swear it was the baby and not me! I grabbed the tape to fix the tear, but of course, my curiosity go the better of me. I peeked. Now for the awful, horrible, un-Christmasy Truth. I'm an ungrateful wretch.
When I looked in the paper, I couldn't at first figure out what was in the package. Then realization dawned. My husband had bought me a large water jug for camping, not exactly the most personal of Christmas presents. Granted, we really needed to replace our old one because it had no lid and everything got soaked during travel. Plus, we do go camping as a family, and I will get use out of it. But all I could think of was that my husband had put next to no thought into my gift, he basically chose something that we needed and were going to buy anyway, and wrapped it up with my name on it. Never mind that I have about 10 other packages under the tree with my name and they are probably great gifts, all that I could think about was this one dubious Christmas choice.
When my husband came home, I told him about the baby and I accidentally unwrapping one of my gifts, and I couldn't resist the urge to inform him of my opinion of his choice by making a snide remark. I instantly regretted it. My husband was hurt. He said that he knew it was sort of a family gift, but he thought that I would enjoy opening it. He apologized for being so thoughtless and vowed to go out and buy me more presents. I was speechless, and let me assure you, that doesn't happen often. How could I be so cruel?
My husband had done something honestly and with good intention, and all I did was throw it back in his face like a spoiled child. I was so ungrateful that I almost couldn't even stand myself. I still feel bad.
He doesn't know it yet, but to make amends, I baked some of his favorite cookies tonight and I went out to do a little more Christmas shopping for him. I am amazed at the human capacity to hurt one another. I can't believe that I could be so thankless and cruel for no reason. I am so sorry. Let's hope that I can restore the Christmas spirit in this house and in my heart.


MissionaryMom said...

Hey!! Where is the update blog? I plan to stop here daily and check it out...must admit I am a bit disappointed...always need something good to read before bed...well, I will check again tomorrow... :) Love ya!

thicket dweller said...

Ah, Christmas. The season where we wrap ourselves in a blanket of selfishness and cover our loved ones with a drift of guilt-induced gifts. Isn't it lovely? ;-)

Seriously, I've been there before and know what you mean. Everyone in my house knows that I'm bitter about not getting gifts. Even my daughter (reading over my shoulder) knows that she has to defend herself as soon as I start talking about how "Mom never gets any Christmas gifts..." She reminds me that she, indeed, does buy gifts for me. I can always count on her and my mother-in-law to give me thoughtful gifts. And no matter how much guilt I throw at the rest of them...well, let's just say I'm not drifted over with guilt-induced presents.

Bah, humbug. ;-)